I had this lengthy post about why there were no posts last week but for the time being lets leave it as personal reasons. Which brings me to writing this post right after I finished the details of those personal reasons. About the idea of juggling the balance of public verse private.
My wife and I have two different scales or values in this area – I’m a social media fan and I had to pull her into the pool kicking and screaming. Sure, she likes some of it the reconnecting with lost friends or catching up with friends via status/images posted because who really has time to talk on the phone when you have a screaming baby right next to you.
I’ve always been a big “sharer” maybe to a fault. I’m not always sure where that comes from… maybe because in the culture I grew up in it was always good to chat or kibitz about things or that I went to a therapist for years as a child after my parent split. No matter the cause I’ve grown very comfortable with putting my location, my task list, my thoughts out there for all to read. My wife on the other hand has a much harder time with that public information. I respect her wishes – which is sometimes hard for me as I’d like to keep my life out there and this leads to some little “discussions” but overall we get along great on most of the social networking topics.
How do you balance yourself verse your family? Where do you draw the line?
I totally feel you on this one. I have had several moments where I second guess what I'm writing because I'm not sure I should be sharing these details. Even something as simple as the names of my wife and child sometimes are enough to make me unsure. I wish I had more insight on the idea, but I'm in the same boat.
I'll share almost anything. I tend to leave family drama out of my blogs and such because family reads my blog.
I don't mind sharing personal details at all, but I do worry about the safety of my family. I haven't put pictures of my daughter on my site yet and I wonder sometimes if I'm being ridiculous. But I definitely have to say, don't put anything out there that you wouldn't mind everyone in the world reading one day, because you just never know.
I also tend to over-share, but that's what makes us good Bloggers! Once the girls reach a certain age I will probably refrain from putting their pictures on the site, but right now they're just adorable babies (at least I think so :).
Just keep walking that fine line with your wife. Just because you think sharing something is fine does not make it so. In fact, why not make your wife your proof-reader? You get a second opinion on your writing before it goes public and she gets to edit out anything she's not comfortable with. Doing the right thing with her is MUCH more important than satisfying your fans.
I tend to leave out the dirty details of family life. The strife, impatience and frustration – we all have that and I don't think anyone needs to or care to read more of it. Plus, it doesn't really make for interesting stories. I share the cute, clever and fun and even that is through a filter. Sometimes I wish I was more personal on OWTK, but the balance I have now is going to have to do.
This is a question I still struggle with. Sometimes as a blogger you have to filter so you do not hurt or make those close to you feel uncomfortable.
When I started friending my “bloggy friends” on facebook my husband got very weirded out about it— he still is pushing me to put together a separate fb page for that… but Im lazy lol… and my rule for FB is– if I know them in real life– then its ok. If I don't then- I do not friend.. I think thats a good rule- right?
As for on my blog– I try not to use my kids names- though I can't say that I haven't slipped up… and I draw the line at anything that is going to upset my husband. Before I hit “post” I think– if his friend/coworker/family read this— how would he feel. If I think for a second he wouldn't be ok with it– I don't post.
I don't write about anything that I am uncomfortable discussing in person.
Since I tend to try and focus on my own feelings and thoughts about my experiences as a SAHD, I think I mostly avoid butting heads with my wife over public vs. private. I posted something at one point that she thought was too personal in regards to her family. I went in and took out what she didn't like. It wasn't a big thing and I want to respect her wishes. In retrospect, if I felt it was essential to what I was trying to get across, I would follow Danny's suggestion and have her proofread the post.
The strife, impatience and frustration – we all have that and I don't think anyone needs to or care to read more of it. Plus, it doesn't really make for interesting stories. I share the cute, clever and fun and even that is through a filter.
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